Turning Pain Into Power

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If you had told me 8 years ago that today I wouldn’t be following the beliefs of William Branham’s end-of-time “message”, I would have sadly shaken my head and told you that I would pray for you. I would have undoubtedly viewed your words as a tactic of Satan to shake my faith. However, here I am-most definitely and courageously- NOT following Branham’s “message”. I have never felt freer. IN. MY. LIFE.

I was 22 when I was literally thrown out by my parents for finally standing up for myself. I spoke to the pastor of the church I had attended for 5 years about the emotional and physical abuse I was enduring. I came home later than usual that night, and when questioned about my whereabouts, I spoke my truth for the first time in my life. I was then pushed up against the wall by my mother and almost punched in the face by my father. I did not care; I felt FREE. I finally had the courage to speak out and tell someone the TRUTH, to tell that I had endured years of physical and emotional abuse.

The abuse included the most degrading forms of humiliation. I was locked in a basement cellar for hours or even days, naked, with no food. I was forced to walk around my home completing chores, not a stitch of clothing on my body. I was coerced into performing various exercise routines, naked, my parents laughing while they picked apart and ridiculed my body. My legs were scarred from where my mother grabbed me and dug her nails into me. Handprints and nail marks were left on my face after being slapped or pinched on the nose and drug wherever I was wanted. Punishments also included beatings with a belt and a Louisville Slugger, the resulting welts impossible to describe. My mother spat on me and told me I was completely worthless and would never amount to anything because I was Hispanic and adopted. Even though I had never kissed or touched a man except when I was raped at age 5, she called me a “Judas”, slut, trash and an endless list of other names.

I cannot tell you how toxic and unhealthy my relationships and views of myself and others were while I was under this abuse. I struggled with suicidal ideations and self-harm. Many nights I could be found sitting outside, cutting my body with jagged rocks, not because I wanted to die really, but because I needed to release the pain inside of me.

Fast forward 8 years later: I am 29 and absolutely the most confident I have ever been. I am a single mother with a career that is taking off and will take me places I NEVER imagined I deserved. This is not to say I did not struggle for YEARS or survive without any scars. I have PTSD, anxiety, and night terrors. But I am FREE. I am ALIVE. I AM A MOTHER FUCKING WARRIOR turning my pain into power.

If you are reading this and have questions or doubts about leaving this cult that has you bound, do NOT let those fears hinder you from accepting your truth. Ask questions. Research. Never stop finding your truth. You know what your truth is, and only you can make that first step. I won’t lie to you. It is very scary having the entire foundation of your belief/relationship with God crumble before your very eyes. But I promise you, if you just hold on to the truth that you deserve so much more, it WILL be worth it.

You are a queen, a survivor, a warrior. You possess strength that you haven’t even tapped into yet. I want you to know that in a sea of doubters, haters, and unfortunately, family and friends who will make you their enemy, I believe in you. Darling, just make that first step towards your truth, and watch your life become everything you have ever desired it to be. This is not the end.

This is your comeback.